i realized that the basic accounting course I've taken in poly for a whole semester, was covered in a 2 weeks lecture in NUS. What happen!!! Am I wasting my time in poly????

AND I MISS MY FRIENDS IN POLY. I don't know why. But poly seems to the best school life that I ever had. When I was in poly, secondary feels like the best school life. When I enter the society to work, will I feel that uni is the next best life that I had?

I am confusing myself early in the morning!! btw, i woke up to complete my accounting tut 4. !!! AHH! i never do. =P

What I only know is that I have absolutely no friends. No friends. Who can I go to? Who do I feel comfortable talking to? No one. I only feel very despair. There is nothing left for me to look forward in this miserable life anymore. I only feel like coping in my bed crying. But the most I can do is to sob. I remembered some years ago, I landed in this exact situation. People told me I wasn't good enough to be a friend. That really hurts. Now I get the same thing again. It will pass. So I just have to endure.

At certain point in life, people make mistakes, anger blossom, abuses are hurled, words put into actions and we just cannot take back what we've said or done. This is why everyone needs anger management. Due to my fruitful experiences in flaring up and losing important people along the way, I soon came to realize that getting angry would bring us nowhere. It is an act of childishness. There is no need to fight against people who enjoy seeing you sinking deep into your emotions. In fact, there are brilliant ways to get your anger out and yet not hurting anyone around you.

Note: these are MY ways, it might not apply to you.

Before getting those ugly words out of your mouth or painful actions into someone else's body.....

Number 1 - this is the basic method.
a. Take a deep breath.
b. Count 1.
c. Take another deep breath.
d. Increase your count.
e. Repeat Step c and d until it reaches 20s.
Result: You have been relaxed, please don't think about it again. Matter Resolved.

Number 2 - this is a role-playing method.
a. Rehearse what you are going to say next within yourself.
b. Predict what the person might say next.
c. Prepare another counterattack.
d. Repeat Step b and c.
Result: What is the last thing that person said again? Please don't think about it again. Matter Resolved.

Number 3 - this is the singing method.
a. Think of a song that could express your feelings.
b. Use one of the song lyrics.
c. Say it out.
d. Wait for the person's response.
e. Repeat Step a - d.
Result: You had already made a fool of that person and you will also find it so fun that you forgotten about the anger. Matter Resolved.

Number 3 - this is the sarcastic method.
a. Analyze the person's insult.
b. Think of a cool and decent reply.
c. Put a smiley face.
d. Wait for the person's response.
e. Repeat Step a - d.
Result: The person will get angrier and angrier (if he/she recognizes the sarcasm) and you will laughing out loud! If the person just let it go, even better! Matter Resolved.

Number 3 - this is being a coward method.
a. If you are on the phone, hang up. Or else, skip to Step b.
b. If you are online, sign out. Or else, skip to Step c.
c. If you are reading a letter, put it down (don't burn it or else you might regret later on). Or else, skip to Step d.
d. If you are face-to-facing, runaway. Or else, skip to Step e.
e. If you are on the bed, get out. Or else, skip to Step f.
g. You failed this method.
Result: Running away from a problem is not necessary the worst solution! Sometimes it just made the other party more furious! You win! Anyway, just give it some time.. Matter will be Resolved (sooner or later).

TRY IT!

After an arduous wait, I finally received offer letters from both NUS and SMU. FINALLY! The way they took so long to send me makes me feel that they want to make sure that the better ones accepted other schools before admitting me.. Why!!

Anyway, I made up my mind to enter NUS! But now I'm in another dilemma. Should I stay in Business Admin (Acc) or appeal to other courses? If I were to appeal to a computer science course, I might even get to learn how to create iPad games or even fly to France for further studies. What should I do?

That aside. I finally graduated from my college and am stepping out into an entirely different world. The key to surviving in this crazy world is teamwork. Many tests and exams are easily aced if the students pay someone else to do! Sounds risky right, but definitely worth a try. Of course, to me, I rather do it within my ability. This is the only way to prove that I'm smart! But, that's not the main point. The main point is I'm missing what I had always hated in the past. Degrading acts such as Backstabs, carrying favors and many more. But what is life without villains? Boring as hell.

So let me be in for a good surprise for what lies ahead of me.

This post is for all my lost pride.
This post is for hoping u fuck up ur life.
This post is for getting back my own life.
This post is for myself.

u fucking selfish girl. DROWN in your own misery. i am NOT going to be unhappy tgt with you. STAY IN YOUR UNHAPPY WORLD while i live mine happily. and u r out of my life alrdy. i don't need someone who only knows how to take others for granted. u r right, i don't miss you at all. why do i want to miss someone who is such a retard and so selfish. why the fuck ppl think u are a nice person and so innocent? Fact is, you are just an ugly bitch. A stupid jackass who only think of ITSELF. I really fucking feel like killing you. gd BYE FUCKTARD.

Chill chill. ARGH. FUCKING ANGRY SIA. Fucktard. Fucking asshole. I never met such an asshole in my whole life before. NEVER. I think u shud married your LOVELY IP PARTNERS. Cse u two sure have a way to make me so fucking furious. No wonder you two are fucking IP Partners. Stupid assholes.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE NOW.

I had never been so angry before. Seriously. I won't take this lying down.

p.s. do me again, i swear i tear out the bear's heart. wtf.

What can it be this time? Boredom, boredom and Bored Gen. Seriously, if I don't get into any university, I would rather die. Not because I'm sad or whatsoever. It is because... I have no courage to face another year of boredom. Imagine, wander aimlessly in life with no goal, no aim, it is worse than death. Why? Basically, I am just waiting for death. Argh. That's way scarier than death itself. Luckily I went swimming today, for quite long in fact. I soaked myself until I almost dehydrated. Cindy and I found out something weird. Even though our body did not take in any fluid through our mouth, we still had the urgent urge to pee. I wonder why... She said the water osmosis into our skin. LOLOL!! That's so damn funny. After that, we went to Marina Square's Swensens and gotten ourselves damn bloated again. We seemed to always get bloated at that particular restaurant. Hahaha! That time we ate up until $70+ but we only paid around $18 each. Because we have many many 1 for 1 vounchers!! After shopping with her for the prom dress, she did not buy anything and we went our separate waysss.... And.... In Pasir Ris... I met Stacy!!! Believe anot, it is coincidence. LOL!! And since I am so damn free, I accompanied her to her tuition. Hehe. Her tuition area is what I would describe as, so near yet so far! It is so freaking near to Pasir Ris but she had to take a detour in order to reach there. After chatting with her and spending quality time with my 'bestfriend', then I went home.

Hehe! Actually it is a happieee day! <3

People being human, at some point in their life, had been a stalker before. These few days, I am learning how to be am internet stalker and I failed miserably. I realized that in order to be a stalker, the victim must let their guard down and more or less has a loophole first. Or else, it is near impossible.

Lesson Learnt.

THAT LITTLE HOLE THERE! I wonder how long will it take to close.

Unexplained boredom.

Yes, I'm back. After being a wanderer for a long time, I'm back on track. I know what I used to look forward in life. It is not the days of being obsess with a person. It is to enjoy as much as possible. Yup, the process of healing. It is to get over with it, finding mass parties and stick my foot in. Now... This sounds really familiar. ;) I'm back for real.

ahhh! I never expected this day in my whole life. Ever since I was taught to identify perverts/molesters, I told myself I would give them a huge slap on their faces. But in actual reality, I was a coward!! This is what happens...

I was on the train home from Reuters last Friday. Lucky me, I found a seat and continued chatting with Elson and Stacy... And there's this "auntie" beside me sleeping with the back of her palm brushing ever so slightly across my left thigh. She also suddenly lied on me for awhile and suddenly sit back up. Situations like this are common in trains so I just continued with my conversation. Suddenly Elson motioned to me to move towards my right. I turned and got a shock!! Shock because it was actually a guy with a typical mole on his right cheek and shock because his face was damn near to mine. So I yelped and collapsed onto Stacy. He heard my yelp and sat up straight again. After Elson dropped down at his stop, new people board the train. He still kept on leaning towards to me so I sat closer to Stacy. The nice lady beside Stacy moved one seat away for us to shift. Got a little kid sat on the left of the guy and the guy started to lean towards that little girl! Omg, he is so damn sick. The girl's mother hurry asked her to stand up. Hahaha!! So he received a call and the guy talked on the phone energetically. Ah, I can't remember the details. But he sorta walked around but missed the exit and TRIED TO SEAT NEXT TO ME AGAIN! Stacy pointed to him and by then, he was once again so close to me. I got another big shock and yelped and ran away. HAHAHA! People like him should just stay at home...